he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
