Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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