I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
