i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
