you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
