Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
