i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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