The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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