Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
