you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
