Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I want a musical about memes.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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