I have demons in me.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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