So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
