somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
