Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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