And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
well you can't waste a boner
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
