Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
