if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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