you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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