shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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