It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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