**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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