I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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