I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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