she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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