I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
