I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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