Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
its not stalking. its research.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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