I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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