You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
