So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
should my penis look like a turkey
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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