youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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