she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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