Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
