1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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