When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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