does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
