well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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