it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I could fuck to npr.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
