My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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