At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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