toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
