It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
