Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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