Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
