so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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