If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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