Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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