When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
