I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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