I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
