belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She announced her abortion via fbk
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
