Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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