The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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