Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
