Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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