Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
