Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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