the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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