so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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